Getting it Daily

There was a moment

where I thought I had already failed.

One day missed.

One post off.

And suddenly it all felt like it could fall apart.

But then I remembered

I don’t have to be perfect,

I just had to keep going.

There was a place that taught me that.

Not through rules,

but through people.

A space where I wasn’t alone.

Where I was seen, even when I was struggling.

Where I was reminded that I didn’t need to become someone else

only more of myself.

They showed me what it looked like

to keep showing up.

Even imperfectly.

Even inconsistently.

Even when life made it hard.

There was care there.

Patience. Understanding.

And a belief that I could grow

with what I already had.

That stayed with me.

Thank you

for being one of the first places

I felt that kind of connection.

I’ll find my way back again.

(Expanded Thoughts Below) 

It's been a day. I'm stressed and frustrated for reasons. One of them being that I may have missed a day in posting these BloomNotes. I had a few planned from the 16th to the 19th, but it looks like the one for the 19th posted on the 18th and I'm stressed. There was a chance to give up. A thought to wreck if all because I missed one day. Then I remember who I wanted to write this particular note to in the first place: Linden. 

Getting It Daily is a community fitness center I was blessed to come upon. Linden is an owner. It's near home, I was able to join. Working out was always a struggle because I was alone and left to my own devices. Joining them was worth it. Still is. I've not paid nor attended for month this year, but the name, the people, the culture sticks with me. It was Linden who still welcomed me when I was distressed, who gave me the insight to the numbers some how. It was Devy who showed me how wonderful it was to be a mystical being in a physical body. Amy was wonderful, and Amanda has always been sweet. Whoever is there now? Fantastic. It truly is a wonderful, fantastic community.

What makes me most grateful is (one of?) the owners. Linden literally spent time just trying to help me, tried to speak to my husband at the time, tried showing me how I could succeed with what I already had. It was never about fitting into anyone elses mold. It was always about me being the best me I could be. He wants that for everyone, at least from what it seems to me. I could certainly be projecting. We all have our own thoughts and perspectives, but what I will hold in my heart are the values I learned in that community center. I will also remember cheering runners on in a marathon with other members of the center.

I can keep going, even if this does not post exactly as I hope it. I can aim to do better but the main thing is I keep going. Thank you, to the very first place I felt true communion outside of a religious institution. The people need it. I needed it. One day, I'll be back again.